Pinned toot

I finally have a better idea what to put on an .

I'm very avidly into , enjoy and generally being . I love and . Also big into of all of the above.

I generally enjoy the aesthetics of casinos/gambling and especially jesters.

I'm still exploring who I am, but I'm and and that is leading me into realizing that my options should be more open.

Nothing is more important to me than my friends.

pol 

I'm getting very tired of spaces claiming to be apolitical but anti-bigotry. They're so intertwined you cannot really separate them. You can claim to be against discrimination, but the economic system we're under encourages and enforces it.

Simultaneously, class struggle is useless without an understanding of the struggles of minorities within that.

It's all a messy web of knots, stop acting like it's not.

A previously thought lost LGBT PC game was found and uploaded to the Internet Archive! Very cool stuff.

archive.org/details/gayblade

EXCUSE ME! The sound clip "Understand the consept of love" from
youtube.com/watch?v=4V4IEV8l-g (Jet Set Radio - The Consept of Love) is from Stokely Carmichael's speech on Huey Newton's birthday: youtube.com/watch?v=cLB6dq2uio

mh (-) 

Today's been a day of "let's just not cry today" and mostly been failing at that.

For the past few days, I'd been wrestling and struggling with how aspects of my gender identity present. It was making me feel like I was unfortunately making things more difficult for people who interact with me or just generally being "too far outside the norms"

Today, I see that the upcoming game Boyfriend Dungeon has the ability to change your pronouns at any time during the game and I feel like crying because I feel seen.

More gender stuff, birdsite mention (~?), US Pol 

Honestly I think part of what makes this so hard is the gender fluidity. Sometimes this becomes super important to me, and other times when I'm feeling more "masc" it just doesn't matter. Do I start to transition just to make part of me more happy?

Can trans women do chest bindings?

Also feel that due to my height I'd be pressured into going for like a butch muscled look as a trans woman and just... what even.

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More gender stuff, birdsite mention (~?), US Pol 

Also seeing that there was someone on there that is both trans and genderfluid made me feel a little less... odd about that whole situation.

So, I'm like... I guess 90% sure now that I'm probably trans? Probably undershooting it because I still don't want to admit it, though.

Also last time I tried to admit it to extremely supportive people I had a panic attack so... still trying to figure out what THAT means.

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More gender stuff, birdsite mention (~?), US Pol 

So, while I greatly prefer Mastodon and still do a majority of posting here, I have been returning to Twitter to monitor and boost posts about the recent civil unrest, just because it's a convenient place to do so.

I follow a few trans people on there, and they boost other trans people taking selfies. One of which was of someone with their new boobs. It was incredibly heartwarming and I started feeling sad 'cause I realized I want those.

I won matches against two people and lost against two. I did much better than I was expecting to do! I'm very happy with my performance. I also won the only match that I was on stream for, lol.

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The stream is live now, everyone will be on stream in the first round, which includes me. Come watch and cheer me on I guess? :D

twitch.tv/kaelis

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So, in about an hour and a half I'm participating in my first ever fighting game tournament. I'm almost certain I'm going to be eliminated immediately, but I'm gonna do my best and have fun anyway!

It'll be hosted on twitch.tv/kaelis but I have zero guarantee that I'll even show up on stream 'cause not every match is gonna be streamed.

Haha, why is my own gender expression a terrifying prospect

Introspection (~?) 

The more I think about my own past, my history, and how I view myself. I always feel like I've come across the nucleus of why I am so clingy towards particular people.

However, it always feels like... they don't ever really see me as clingy. So I wonder if I'm just too guarded of what I actually feel or if I am just worried too much about it.

And as I'm typing this I'm thinking perhaps these same issues also explain why I'm hesitant to try to connect with people, too.

So, remember about a month ago when stuff about the Linux Fox Girl went around? Someone reportedly tracked down Alan Mackey, and got his blessing on giving her a name (Xenia), and accidentally confirmed the character to be trans.

Source: twitter.com/cathodegaytube/sta

Why don't more games let me play dress up? I need more games that have excellent customization in the realm of fashion.

Shower thoughts about gender and sexual identity 

I realized that I was able to say that I am pansexual, and that I'm comfortable dating same sex and opposite sex partners and anyone across the gender spectrum in general, but when I tried to admit that I was a trans individual, I had a panic attack.

I'm not sure if that's a sign that it's not valid, or if I just perceive a greater social stigma to that than to pansexuality and relationship anarchy.

I'm very happy that Tuca & Bertie got picked up by Adult Swim

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