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I finally have a better idea what to put on an .

I'm very avidly into , enjoy and generally being . I love and . Also big into of all of the above.

I generally enjoy the aesthetics of casinos/gambling and especially jesters.

I'm still exploring who I am, but I'm and and that is leading me into realizing that my options should be more open.

Nothing is more important to me than my friends.

A local friend passed tonight. I will raise a glass to him and wish him on his way. Please join me in renewing our commitment to be good to all those we meet so that we might collectively make something beautiful out of the time we have.

And please remember that you are loved.

I massively prefer spending time with friends today. I don't like, want to ruin whatever positive associations people have with Valentine's day, but I really just dislike sort of being told to like, dedicate a day to deciding who gets the Valentine's day trophy.

If you are reading this, then you can be my Valentine. Let's spend the day doing things we like with people we love, in all the manifold ways that can present.

mh ---- 

I am just falling apart today, whole bunch of things stacked on top of each other to make a nightmare anxiety cloud, been spending a good like 2-4 hours so far trying to fight off the panic attack, and I just realized the nucleus to all of it and now I just want to break down and cry.

TIL Britney Spears is actually awesome. She grew up in a small rural town and became famous by singing in shopping malls. This gathered enough of a crowd she became noticed. She literally forged her own path with no money.

"DuckDuckGo , a search engine focused on privacy, increased its average number of daily searches by 62 % in 2020 as users seek alternatives to impede data tracking. "
fuck you google :ablobcatbongo:

Obviously, looking back. As part of "treat others as THEY want to be treated", if you desire an apology, please let me know.

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I have nothing but love for my friends, and I realize that I'm not always great at expressing it, and just saying "I love you" can become as hollow as saying I'm sorry (though unlike I'm sorry, I will continue to use I love you because I do think that one resonates better, even if sometimes overstated).

I hope I can continue to become a better person through solidifying this path forward.

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In any case, it's something solidified in me, from now on, going forward. However, I am not a mind reader, so I hope that people will be willing to approach me and let me know when I have crossed a line and treated them in an unsatisfactory manner. I will do my part to try and ask ahead of time how they wish to be treated, but that's a broad question, and I don't expect comprehensive answers from everyone I ask. So all I can do is hope to remain approachable.

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That said, thanks--very amusingly--to Microsoft for changing their code of conduct on Xbox and instating "The Platinum Rule". Basically realizing that the Golden Rule that many of us were taught as children is insufficient. There are people out there that like to be borderline abusive to each other in teasing and behavior. So the Platinum Rule states that you treat people how THEY want to be treated.

I dunno why it took me this long to realize that consider that's also more or less the dom rule

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I don't like receiving apologies either, for these reasons, they feel hollow and insincere. I'd rather just talk out the situation with someone and try to reach an understanding with another person, so that further fighting doesn't happen. I don't enjoy fighting with friends, I don't try to fight with friends, it reminds me very much of competition, stuff ingrained from capitalist conditioning that I'm not happy with and eager to leave behind.

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First and foremost, I will not be giving out an apology. I understand the concept behind giving one, but think that our society, especially those with low self-esteem like myself, tend to apologize too much to the point where apologizing becomes reflexive and meaningless.

I think the best form of an apology is, instead, simply moving forward and trying to become a better person, showing change, growth, and otherwise attempting to become better than the person who needed to apologize.

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I've been thinking a lot lately about the past couple months, mistakes I've made, things I could have done better. I think I've finally solidified a path forward. I want to outline the changes and describe some things about myself in the process.

EXCUSE ME FEDIVERSE
I understand you are all upset, and with good reason. But behold, I come bearing solutions:
html5zombo.com/

Hey. You. Fediverse.
I love you still <3 I hope you are having wonderful fuzzy feelings and I just want to try to keep them going as long as we can.
You. Are. Awesome.

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